I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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