so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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