I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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