in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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