At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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