So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
