the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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