Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
