Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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