i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
