i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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