You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
