I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
