Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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