i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
