What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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