how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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