She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
