He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
