McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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