I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
