is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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