i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
