Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
