Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
