o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
and she was petting her beer can
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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