What a fucking waste of an outfit
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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