just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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