Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
