Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
