Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
