This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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