i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
