first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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