You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
