I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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