Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
