he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
