my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
