Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Need sex. Gaining weight.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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