he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
