Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm always down for nudity.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
