i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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