she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
