Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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