We're like a lot better than the average bears
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
