I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
