you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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