My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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