I just made out with a guy for $7.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
