I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
