Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
