We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
