walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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