if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
