well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
