I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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