Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
