Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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