He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
