did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
